


Ablaze

by Mother_North



Series: Attraction [16]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attraction, Elements of Het, Eventual Smut, First Time, Fling - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Psychology, Resolved Sexual Tension, Romanticism, Seaside, Summer Vacation, SummerFlingAU, Writers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:49:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25035724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mother_North/pseuds/Mother_North
Summary: Later, Javier would think that it was akin to a shipwreck – the moment he saw him for the very first time; ocean waters engulfing his boat in their fathomless depths. As if there emerged a drifting iceberg right in front of a doomed ship and there was no opportunity to maneuver whatsoever...A summer fling AU.
Relationships: Javier Fernández/Original Female Character, Javier Fernández/Yuzuru Hanyu
Series: Attraction [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1090473
Comments: 32
Kudos: 57





	1. I.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whosays_penultimate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whosays_penultimate/gifts).



> Javier is a writer who desperately seeks ways to revive his creativity. Yuzuru is his accidently acquired chance for salvation.
> 
> RPF disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and it is not meant to offend anyone. It is a product of author’s imagination only. All thoughts, actions and emotions described below have nothing to do with reality.

\-------------------------

The sun is boiling hot, a painfully bright white sphere hovering over the blurred horizon. The heat is oppressive and even a single breath requires an effort. The sea licking the coastline submissively doesn’t ease Javier’s suffering, as he is practically dying of the sultry heat. He takes a deep breath through his nose, inhaling the salt in the air, sapphirine panorama of the vast of sea shimmering in front of his eyes. It’s difficult to stop your gaze at something specific for too long, as the seacoast is blinding on a bright sunny day and there’s only a pair of seagulls floating through heavens that catches Javier’s attention for no more than a minute or two. He squints to watch their game of chase in the sky above.

Javier decided to take a short vacation, needing to change his surroundings, to get out of the city jungles. He wanted to leave all of the attention-starving acquaintances with their incessant phone calls behind. He craved something profound and true and of the nature that was alien to stuffed tiny apartments and numerous little streets of the old downtown.

The sweep of the seaside, its deep serenity, its vastness and lightness.

His rich imagination of a writer was painting him beautiful seascapes: white beach sand, wondrous sunsets, when the glowingly red sun is slowly creeping across the dull lilac sky to hide behind a horizon line, reminding him of paysages by his beloved Monet.

Alas, it turned out that multitudes of people were swarming at the seaside: hyperactive running and screaming children and their worrying mothers, following each of their steps like hawks; family couples trying to bring back to life their crumbling marriages with the help of a second honeymoon, hoping that a romantic trip to a coast would miraculously save their love life from burning out.

Watching them made Javier sulk.

He is feeling languid, the rhythmic murmur of the sea inducing sleepiness that is spreading through his relaxed body. He closes his heavy eyelids, trying to distance himself from the fuss and clamour of the overcrowded beach. His thoughts are crawling in his mind sluggishly like fat flies, images of past appearing vague and detached to only fade away quickly. Javier is thinking of his parting conversation with Melissa on the day of his departure.

_“Why won’t we go together, Javi? I understand your desire to find inspiration and to start writing again after all of the months of stagnation. I know that you need solitude but I’ll be missing you awfully! You can’t even imagine how! I won’t distract you! I swear…”_

_Javier kisses her broad forehead, looking into her pleading eyes intently. He chases away any thoughts of agreeing to take her with him. He is caught into a trap of a daily routine that is lethal to his creativity and she is an irreplaceable part of it._

_He has to get out._

_Javier frowns, a stern crease visible between his eyebrows, but he doesn’t let indignation seep into his voice which remains calm._

_“Please, don’t start all over again. I am only asking for two weeks, darling... They are vital for me. I need to recharge my batteries. It has nothing to do with you personally. It’s just how I am. It’s about me alone, not you, Mel…”_

_Javier threads his fingers through her dark hair, struggling to find the right words. His breathing hitches under her steadfast gaze._

_“I am dreading that I won’t be able to write again,” he finally confesses._

_Melissa throws her arms around his neck and Javier buries his face in her wavy hair, seeking much needed reassurance and comfort._

_“I know, honey. I understand. I am sure you’ll write your opus magnum one day. I believe in you.”_

_“Thank you,” Javier breathes out, as momentarily relief floods his erratically heaving chest._

It’s true that he is scared to death, the fear eating him alive on the inside for the past six months. Javier feels dead like a fish out of the water, miserable and impotent. He is staring at a blank sheet in his typewriter for hours on end, feeling as if he is hung above a precipice. His sweaty fingers are hovering above the keys seemingly for eternity, as he is simply sitting there, unable to grasp a single thought in his buzzing mind for there are too many of them – overwhelming and out of control. A primal fear clenches his heart and the sheet of paper remains clean. It’s hard to breath and Javier often finds himself on a verge of a panic attack, disgusting hopelessness making it way too easy to delve into self-hatred.

It continues for hours, a sophisticated torture of absolute impotence that makes his eyes burn with bitter tears. The most painful thing that hurts hard enough to kill, the most severe blow that shatters Javier’s inner balance is a stark realization of his own creative _barrenness_.

Javier considers returning back to a hotel to order some dry gin (“ _alcohol is not a solution to any of your problems_ ,” part of his rational self keeps whispering in his head, yet he prefers to ignore the nagging little voice altogether) when he suddenly catches sight of _him_. His eyes are tired from the sun and he blinks – once, twice – in an attempt to dispel a walking dream in front of him.

Later, he would think that it was akin to a shipwreck – the moment he saw _him_ for the very first time; ocean waters engulfing his boat in their fathomless depths. As if there emerged a drifting iceberg right in front of a doomed ship and there was no opportunity to maneuver whatsoever.

_Too late. There’s no escape._

Javier can’t tear his eyes off of a slender figure of a boy, which seems ephemeral in the intense summer heat, air shimmering around its contours. He reminds Javier of a statuette, his limbs long and his whole frame as slim as an arrow. His movements are gracious and full of unbridled charm of youthfulness.

All of a sudden, Javier goes hot all over, feeling like a mere schoolboy.

Here _he_ is, walking at the very edge of water and the sea is licking his thin ankles, as if worshipping their refined beauty. _He_ is all porcelain smoothness, being hugely different from anyone around Javier, as if some unknown force has thrown him into this dimension of a sweltering summer day.

His staggering _otherness_ makes Javier’s heart beat wildly.

His doll-like features and shiny raven hair, that a playful sea breeze is caressing, capture Javier’s imagination instantly and he moistens his lips.

Javier is drinking with his eyes the view of the boy unabashedly: a pair of long slender legs, narrow hips and a tiny wasp waist that seemingly begs to be cradled in his broad palms. His skin is translucent and extremely pale, so Javier begins to worry that rays of the south sun are going to potentially harm it. A ridiculous thought flashes in his head momentarily – Javier realizes that he is ready to get jealous of the brazen celestial body that is paying its attentions to the wondrous young lad.

Javier straightens his back in his chaise-lounge, any previous intention of leaving evaporating. Instead, he is staring hungrily, afraid to blink, afraid that an enticing apparition will disappear into thin air the moment he looks away. The very thought makes a wave of nausea wash over him.

He has never laid his eyes upon someone as perfect – from the fingertips of his dainty hands to the locks of his midnight-black hair. Grace laced his light movements, as he crouched down to take a better look at a sea pebble or as he covered his eyes with his fragile wrist from the sun, staring far into the great vastness of the sea, his dark eyes dreamlike and unfocused.

Javier feels like a criminal, a thief. He boldly enjoys every detail of the boy’s stunning appearance, his gaze wandering over the young beautiful body, each centimeter of its unblemished, satin-like skin open on display like the rarest of gems. Javier is unbearably thirsty and he has to throw his cotton t-shirt over the groin area, all his blood travelling south, his palms suddenly becoming sweaty.

The pale vision doesn’t even suspect about his existence _yet_ , his insistent stares going unnoticed. Javier is like a bird of prey that is looking for a vulnerable place to sink his claws into.

_He simply can’t afford to let him go._


	2. II.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javier bit his lip in pleasurable anticipation, as Yuzuru stopped before him, slightly out of breath.
> 
> “Shall we go?”

\-------------------------

Meanwhile, the boy decided to have a swim, though, it looked that the water was too cold for his liking. Having walked into it until it barely licked his soft chin he swiftly retreated, reminding Javier of a cute disgruntled kitten. The mental analogy made Javier smile a little, yet a chuckle died down in his throat the moment he saw the object of his desire out of the water: his black swimming trunks were clinging to his behind like second skin, leaving very little to imagination, highlighting each contour and muscle of his perfectly shaped buttocks; the dark hairs at the nape of his neck were moist and presented a stark contrast against his milky skin, which was spangled with tiny water drops that were sparkling in sunrays like diamonds on a niveous satin.

Javier snapped his eyes shut, his head spinning from an onslaught of vicious want. It was the most sophisticated torture – slow and cruel and scarily effective. He was dying to feel what it was like to have this body at the mercy of his eager hands: to trace the sharp outlines of shoulder blades, to tickle the protruding hipbones with the tip of his tongue in a sensual caress, to catch every single drop with his mouth and taste the flawless skin.

Javier was gripping chaise-lounge armrests with a white knuckle force. He was trying to come back to his senses, worrying his lower lip with teeth, the pain making him hiss quietly. There was a tight coil of heavy arousal in his guts and he was aching for an immediate relief badly.

Unable to control himself, Javier was squeezing his thighs rhythmically under an improvised veil of his loose cotton shirt, desperately seeking a way to alleviate some of the pressing need. His cheeks were glowing and it required a supreme effort not to make a sound.

The boy managed to take away his sanity in less than ten minutes.

Nothing of the kind has ever happened to Javier – not even close. He enjoyed sex and knew about pleasures of the flesh everything but nobody has ever produced such tremendous effect on his hot-blooded nature.

Javier wanted to smother this little boy-doll with feverish kisses.

His fingers were clenching and unclenching nervously and it seemed to Javier, as though the whole world had squeezed itself into a single spot – into this lanky, indescribably delicate and willowy teen with blue-black locks.

The boy got down on his belly, propping his chin in his hand, his naked back turned towards the sun and his dainty feet swinging in the air nonchalantly. Naturally, he couldn’t even begin to fathom that those simple and innocent actions of his were able to cause a real storm inside Javier’s lust-fogged brain.

A subtle tremor ran down Javier’s spine and he closed his eyes in a futile attempt to get rid of the spell, as his mind was flooded with pornographic images of endless possibilities that the boy’s body could provide him with.

A powerful urge to get up and _run away_ almost overcame Javier. He would hide in his hotel room and take refuge in the shower stall to masturbate furiously under torrents of warm water. It seemed to him that a couple of firm tugs would be more than enough to get him over the edge, since his body was besieged with raw undiluted lust so strong, it made thinking straight a nearly impossible feat.

“You are an animal,” a distant voice at the periphery of his consciousness snickered.

Javier counted to ten before getting up and finally walking to the object of his severe need. It was a bold move to make, but he simply couldn’t ignore an opportunity to get closer and to have a better look at the fatally attractive young stranger. He covered his loins with his shirt, binding its sleeves around his waist (he didn’t give a damn whether he looked unpresentable) and went directly to the boy, maneuvering amidst semi-naked bodies of sunbathing people. He realized he was sweating profusely. There was some unoccupied space near the young man and Javier decided that it would serve as a place of arms for his goals just right.

 _He_ looked even more beautiful in proximity. Javier tried not to stare openly, stealing only some clandestine glances from time to time. Water droplets had already dried up on his smooth skin, yet there were grains of golden sand on the backside of his thighs and loins that made Javier gulp convulsively. He wanted to trace them with his fingertips reverently, for he thought that the young lad was born to be worshipped – from the fluttering of his long eyelashes to the toes of his small feet.

 _…A Neptunian elemental basking in the sun on the shore, gracing mere mortals with his otherworldly presence_.

Javier thought he could even catch a faint scent of sweet freshness his skin was emanating.

“Hello!”

Javier nearly jumped out of his skin. In no way he anticipated the boy starting a conversation himself. Eyes that were as dark as night itself were looking at him with lively interest. In his turn, Javier spoke up in a neutral tone, trying his hardest to camouflage any suspicious interest in his voice:

“Hi! It’s so hot today, isn’t it?” He beamed at the boy blindingly, using the lethal charm of his best smile as his weapon of choice.

The young man turned over to lie on his back and Javier’s eyes swept his long neck, chiseled torso, hairless chest and a pair of tiny nipples.

Sensual lips curved sinfully, making Javier’s heart race.

“True…It’s very hot today. Did you arrive a long time ago? You are sun tanned and I just thought that it looks like you’ve been here for some time already…”

“He is clearly showing some interest,” thought Javier to himself, although it was hard to decipher emotions behind the impenetrable dark eyes.

 _He_ stretched languidly and Javier considered moving in closer, yet he didn’t dare to. He was too afraid to shoo his luck away, still unbelieving that a beautiful young man spoke to him first. His peculiar manner of pronouncing _‘r’_ was adorable. Javier couldn’t get enough of his exotic accent.

“Only recently! Are you here on your own? What’s your name? My name is Javier.”

_Patience dammit._

“Yuzuru,” the boy shook Javier’s hand, his palm narrow and fingers gentle.

Electric current shoot through Javier, a wildfire in his groin blazing hotly.

Javier wanted to ask about his new acquaintance’s age but considered the question to be too direct and suggestive for the time being.

“It’s nice to meet you!”

Yuzuru’s smile grew wider – sincere and dashing. It was easy to lose one’s head, easy to forget how to breathe and Javier did just that.

“I am here with my mother and sister. We arrived last week.” Yuzuru’s long fingers were digging into scorching beach sand. He clenched his small fist, watching grains of sand slip away through his fingertips. “There’s three more days and then our vacation comes to its end…”

A sigh of regret escaped Yuzuru and everything inside of Javier shriveled. He was deafened by the dread that something _important_ had just ended without even having a chance to begin.

Three miserable days and then the finish line would be crossed. Yuzuru would disappear from his life.

_Forever…_

The cruel realization hurt, unbearably so, causing almost physical pain. Javier was already on a downward spiral of helpless despair and bitterness, his high hopes torn from him, as Yuzuru’s melodious voice snapped him out of the circle of his dark thoughts.

“Do you like ice-cream? We can go somewhere together! To eat, you know..? I’d trade my soul for some shadow! It’s too hot in here!”

Javier couldn’t believe his ears. He was simply staring at Yuzuru, striving to see the smallest cue that his crazy fantasies could somehow materialize into real life against all odds, that he… that _they_ still had a chance.

Yuzuru’s eyes were shining mischievously and he was already on his feet, waiting for Javier to get up. Something in his expression was clearly indicating that he wouldn’t accept ‘no’ for an answer.

“And why the hell not..? I’ll only grab my stuff! Give me a minute!”

“Great! See you at the quay then, at the beach exit!”

Yuzuru put on a pair of plain black shorts over his wet trunks, as Javier looked away swiftly, all of a sudden overwhelmed with excitement. Javier returned to his abandoned chaise-lounge to get into beige shorts of his, his t-shirt now thrown over his muscular shoulders.

He was watching Yuzuru talking to a long-haired woman, as she was sitting on the sand by the water’s edge. Yuzuru pointed at his direction and Javier waved at them tentatively. He couldn’t make out the woman’s features because of the distance but somehow he was pretty sure that she had to be Yuzuru’s mother.

“She must be as beautiful as her son,” Javier deduced instantly.

In a couple of minutes, Yuzuru was walking towards him with short, quick steps, a light t-shirt with Winnie-the-Pooh cartoonish print fluttering behind him in the sea breeze like wings and Javier couldn’t get enough of his breathtaking beauty – shorts worn low on his narrow boyish hips, the allure of his svelte figure making heads turn, the awakening sensuality he was oozing speaking directly to his innermost instincts…

Javier bit his lip in pleasurable anticipation, as Yuzuru stopped before him, slightly out of breath.

“Shall we go?”


	3. III.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a shocking revelation, Javier realizes that he is literally on the verge of doing something unthinkable, something he may very well regret later when his ability to think returns again. The situation he has found himself in is so unlike anything he has ever experienced that he is struggling to find the right words...

\-------------------------

The quay is white-hot, blinding. Javier and Yuzuru hide in the comfortable shadow of a café with an open terrace; the aroma of southern greenery filling the air with astringent sweetness. There’s a large white umbrella next to the round table they occupy and the nearness of the sea can be felt more vividly in here – cool breeze bringing sea-salt freshness along with shrieks of seagulls.

Yuzuru is studying a menu, sitting across the table from Javier. The older man keeps stealing glances of the youth: there’s a lapis-lazuli shimmering canvas of breathing and living sea behind his thin shoulders and his silhouette against it makes Javier think of a _painting_ – the raven-dark hair paintbrush strokes and white patches of incredibly pale skin that seem ghostly in the dense shadow of an umbrella.

 _He_ looks stunning.

“Have you chosen anything yet?” asks Javier in a slightly hoarse voice.

Yuzuru traces his bottom lip with a fingertip, furrowing his brow in concentration before nodding.

“I’ll have some vanilla ice-cream with strawberry topping. But no whipped cream! Oh, and one milk-shake, also vanilla-flavoured, please!”

Javier sniffs, genuinely amused.

“As far as I understand, you are not allowed to drink yet! By the way, how old are you?” He tries his best for the question to sound natural, to seem nonchalant, so that no suggestiveness would slip into his intonation – a mere display of curiosity, nothing more.

Javier studies Yuzuru’s expression intently, as the boy answers, lowering his eyes:

“I am seventeen… soon… But I wouldn’t drink alcohol anyway! Even if I could! It’s just so stupid! It’s a sheer waste of time, really!”

Javier’s heart is overflown with gentleness at the youth’s seriousness and hellishly-cute pouty lips.

“Wow! You are truly wise beyond your age! I wish I were this mature! Alas, it’s not the case with me so I’ll go for a _Mohito_ , I guess…”

White rum makes Javier’s head buzz pleasantly, his mind suddenly seeming wrapped in a cotton wool. Pungent minty taste is tickling his tongue. He is watching Yuzuru eat his ice-cream: vanilla and strawberry being a perfect combination and Javier is ready to sell his soul to the Devil to lick the flavor off of the boy’s gorgeous lips.

Sweet syrup has tinted Yuzuru’s mouth blood-red and Javier can’t tear his eyes away from it.

“Are you always this silent?” asks Yuzuru, once the ice-cream is successfully finished.

Alcohol makes Javier’s vision blur at the edges and Yuzuru’s face seem to be _glowing_ – overwhelmingly attractive in its snow-white, translucent glory; his carmine lips and charcoal eyes presenting a sinful, stark contrast against his flawless skin.

In a shocking revelation, Javier realizes that he is literally on the verge of doing something unthinkable, something he may very well regret later when his ability to think returns again. The situation he has found himself in is so unlike anything he has ever experienced that he is struggling to find the right words. Talking to Yuzuru on trivial things in a casual manner seems like a sacrilege to Javier, as if spending precious minutes of being one on one on some idle meaningless talk is a real crime in itself.

Not thinking about possible consequences, acting out on a sheer impulse, Javier suddenly blurts out:

“I am dying to kiss you. Will you let me?”

Javier is so agitated his tongue seems swollen in his mouth, voice strained and laced with desperation.

Yuzuru is gaping, visibly shaken, his eyes reminding of two round saucers.

“Are you kidding me?!”

Here’s Javier’s precious chance to back down: he can turn everything into a failed attempt of joking, laugh it off and to hell with it – instead, he takes one final gulp of his cocktail and grasps Yuzuru’s hand across the table. He senses the importance of a touch in this particular moment. Licking his lips nervously, he lets his dark eyes scorch the boy with their unhinged fervor:

“No...” he speaks directly from his heart.

Yuzuru’s cheeks turn deep crimson but he doesn’t try to free his hand from Javier’s grasp, staring fixedly. The man’s strong fingers are clutching his thin wrist now and his hammering heart is ready to leap out of his chest at any given moment.

“Have you gone mad?! Why are you asking me of such things?! I am not…I am no…”

“Come to my hotel room,” says Javier before biting his tongue, though, it’s obviously too late already.

Yuzuru’s lips are pressed into a thin line and his eyes are impenetrable. He pulls his hand away and throws a dollar bill on the café table. He looks scandalized and wounded and it makes Javier want to fall on his knees in front of him – to immediately beg for forgiveness, to ask for mercy, to implore of a pardon for his intemperance and undue familiarity.

“Please, forgive me,” whispers Javier, his gaze boring into Yuzuru’s soul – determined and pleading at the same time.

“You are…very weird! How are you not ashamed of yourself! Farewell!”

Yuzuru turns away to leave abruptly but Javier is already on his feet, intercepting him near the exit, gripping him by the elbow firmly. He is acutely aware of the glances they draw towards themselves, people eagerly watching the little nasty scene unfolding in front of their very eyes, idle curiosity ever present.

“Wait! Here you go! Take it, please!” Javier’s loud voice is trembling with raw emotion. He makes Yuzuru clench his long fingers around a small sheet of paper – his cut-away. “It has address of the hotel and the number of the room I am currently staying in…Please, come! I’ll be waiting!”

Yuzuru takes a single brief glance at the piece of paper before crumpling it up defiantly. He throws it on the table and Javier is dying inside, overtaken by frustration and hopelessness. He is ready to kill himself for his own incapability to control his urges. The thing is that the knowledge that he has only _three_ days, the alcohol he has consumed and above all – Yuzuru’s intoxicating proximity, have all messed up his ability to think straight and he simply wasn’t able to weigh the consequences of his actions.

Javier is staring, unblinking, at Yuzuru’s svelte figure, as it disappears out of sight completely, engulfed by the multitude of people at the overcrowded beach. Javier sinks into his chair, spent, quiet whispers behind his back filling him with irritation. It looks like the recent scene between the two of them serves an ample food for the visitors of a café, their incessant murmur reaching his ears.

This time Javier goes for a double bourbon whiskey that burns his throat and insides viciously, making his eyes water.

_You are an irreparable idiot, Javier…_

_Fucking up everything so stupidly, wanting too much too soon, shooing away the rarest of butterflies with one careless word, one incautious act…_

Javier cursed his own unacceptable impulsiveness and passionate, hot-blooded nature. He wanted to wail from his foolishness.

His mobile phone began vibrating in the chest pocket and Javier saw Melissa’s smiling face on the screen. A powerful urge to smash the phone against a concrete nearly overcame him but somehow Javier managed to answer. He even made his voice sound neutral, although it took an almost inhuman effort to do so.

He didn’t want to cause her worry over _nothing_ , trying his best not to raise any unnecessary suspicions.

Their conversation turned out to be short and rather awkward.

“I love you too, honey! Bye!”

Javier closes his eyes, heart thumping away wildly.

_I need to get some sleep…it is insanity, a momentary madness…it will pass…everything passes…you are not some naïve fool to be head over heels in love with some stranger…a mere boy…Oh, god! The boy with jet-black hair and alabaster tender skin… the boy who likes vanilla ice-cream and strawberry jam… the boy in a stupid Winnie-the-Pooh shirt which is scarily childlike…the boy who is not seventeen yet…_

Javier was on the verge of crying.

After having paid, he headed to his hotel room, his mind unexpectedly numb and feet barely holding his swaying form. He drew the curtains and took off all of his clothes, falling into bed. His naked body smelled of sea-salt and sweat and the odour tickled his nostrils, it reminded him of the accursed youth he met on the seashore. It filled his whole being with torturous longing and he couldn’t get rid of it even in a heavy, alcohol-induced sleep.

Javier was fondling a thin, youthful body in his dreams. He took and conquered, losing himself in half-choked pleas that he coaxed out of the beautiful boy.

_Please, don’t stop…don’t stop…don’t stop…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is a brief one. Sorry.


	4. IV.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you still want to…kiss me?”
> 
> Javier doesn’t listen a moment longer.

\-------------------------

Javier woke up the next morning, tired and jaded. His dried sperm on the lower abdomen tainting his skin, serving as an unpleasant reminder of lascivious dreams he had and of the chance he had previously killed off with his own hands.

Upon getting out of bed, his limbs leaden and uncoordinated, Javier trailed wearily into the shower. Blood was pounding in his temples, yet he managed to get rid of some dryness in his mouth with a help of a pack of orange juice which he was lucky enough to find in the hotel room mini-bar. A thought of interrupting his vacation and leaving immediately visited him and he sighed heavily.

A mere glance at his type-writer made him nauseous.

_“But what if he comes..?”_

_What an insane thought, Javi! Aren’t you sick of yourself? You are ready to fall to your knees and crawl at his feet…Weakling!”_

_“He’ll come, I can feel it…He will! I just know it somehow…”_

_“Crazy man! Come back to Melissa and stop thinking about the boy! She must be missing you badly…”_

Javier buried his face in his hands, sitting on the edge of the bed. The insistent, nagging voices inside his head were driving him mad.

Can’t he run away from himself and break the vicious circle of obsessive thoughts..? It seems impossible.

 _He_ is like the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden which Javier can never reach.

Javier even entertained an unthinkable scenario of going to various hotels on the seafront in search of the wondrous boy. He visualized scenes in his head in which he would ask for information, batting his eyelashes and using his best “puppy eyes”.

_“Isn’t the most gorgeous boy in the whole fucking universe staying at your place? Yuzuru! His name is Yuzuru! He has two dark stars instead of eyes and the fairest porcelain skin! I need him as desperately as oxygen! Can’t you understand? I’d tell him that I have never met anyone even remotely like him! That I knew he was special at first sight! I’d just have a look at him one more time! For no more than several minutes, I promise! I am not asking for more, I am not…Please, help me!”_

Javier is rubbing his eyes furiously, slaps his cheeks in a fit of irrational resentment. He wants to bring back some clearness into the unstoppable torrent of his chaotic thoughts. He can’t remember when the last time he felt this frustrated and powerless occurred.

And there’s still Melissa…There – at home, in Spain…with her genuine concern and love for him. She is like a much needed quiet harbor for his haunted soul; she is a lighthouse in the stormy night that sends him its rays of light. But his ship is lost, wrecked against the rocks of her shore, shattered pieces of his personal freedom scattered everywhere.

_Too bad._

Javier falls back onto bed into a soft cocoon of pillows and crumpled blankets. White ceiling is pressing down on him and the hotel room stuffed with expensive furniture seems oppressive and suffocating to remain in.

Perhaps, had he walked to the beach earlier in the morning, he could have seen _him_ again?

Javier shut his eyelids tight. He couldn’t even begin to fathom the enormousness of sharp pain and blind despair he was feeling at the moment. It was all-encompassing and endless.

“Save me, save me,” he whispered into the empty stillness of the hotel room.

**

It’s 18:47 and there’s a distinct sound of tentative knocking.

With a bathrobe thrown on a naked body, Javier slowly stood up to open the door.

_Yuzuru was standing there._

Javier’s fingers squeezed the handle of a door so hard, his knuckles turned white. Later, he thought it was a miracle that he didn’t fall. He couldn’t believe his eyes, blinking confusedly, completely dumbfounded.

“It’s you…Have you finally..? You…I mean… just…”

Yuzuru looked fresh and rested, his pale cheeks tinted with a beautiful pink hue, eyes sparkling excitedly.

“Hello. May I come in?” His voice didn’t waver in the slightest.

Javier stepped aside without a word to let Yuzuru in. His hands weren’t trembling as badly, as they possibly could in a situation like this and he thought briefly that he could be proud of his level of self-control. Maybe it could be due to a surreal feeling that Javier wasn’t able to shake off – Yuzuru’s sudden visit seemed like one of his feverish dreams, too good to be true.

Yuzuru took a quick look around the hotel room before turning to face Javier. Now his nervousness was plainly evident: he was chewing his bottom lip in hesitation, his delicate fingers fidgeting with the triangle black pendant that was hanging loosely around his abnormally long neck. Javier was waiting patiently for his unexpected visitor to disrupt the silence first.

“Do you still want to…kiss me? I’ve changed my mind…I think…I mean I really have no idea what I am doing here to begin with but…” Yuzuru was stammering, blushing furiously, his voice breaking. “I normally don’t come to hotel rooms of strangers to…you know…to…”

Javier doesn’t listen a moment longer. He makes a step towards the young man, taking his burning face into his palms to pull Yuzuru into his embrace. He presses himself into Yuzuru’s body, grasping all of the initiative at once, kissing a pair of alluring lips with _scary_ passion – his tongue is in the boy’s throat and he is greedy to taste, greedy to feel; intoxicated by the feeble mewling sounds he is coaxing out of Yuzuru, sweet vanilla making him dizzy with want. Thin arms encircle his neck, pulling closer, urging him on and Javier can sense Yuzuru’s body heat. He is dying to get lost in everything the young and slender body of the boy has to offer.

Reason is screaming at Javier to stop but he can’t get enough. He pushes Yuzuru to the unmade bed, pressing him into it with the whole weight of his strong body. He has never wanted anyone more in his life. Yuzuru is incredibly sensitive beneath his hands, reacting to each touch, responding with eager moans, arching up into Javier, needy and inviting.

Javier slides his hand under Yuzuru’s thin cotton t-shirt to pinch and twist a tiny hard nipple roughly. Yuzuru is pulling at Javier’s dark locks while the man is showering his neck with frenzied kisses, his tender skin now glistening with saliva, various shades of red and purple punctuating its paleness. Javier is like a string pulled tight, his insides quivering with morbid passion which breaks all barriers and moral laws, taboos disregarded and forgotten.

“Oh God…I want you so much, my boy…” groans Javier into the moist, kiss-bruised skin of Yuzuru’s neck. He traces the well-defined clavicle with his tongue, caresses flat stomach, snakes his hand under the elastic waistband of the boy’s shorts. The realization that Yuzuru is in fact _not_ wearing _any_ underwear hits him like a punch in the guts, his arousal turning vicious.

Yuzuru is pushing into Javier’s palm shamelessly; looking all hot and bothered, not trying to hide his excitement.

“You’ll be the death of me…fuck…”

Javier yanks at Yuzuru’s t-shirt, urging him to take it off. He pulls the shorts down to dangle around the knees, simultaneously undoing the sash of his bathroom. The first touch of their naked bodies – skin on skin, is electrifying, too ecstatic to be real.

Javier begins to move slowly between Yuzuru’s parted legs; the heavenly smoothness of the boy’s thighs tears lewd groans out of his throat, the sensation overwhelming in its blissful intensity.

Javier’s heartbeat seems to resonate in Yuzuru’s ribcage and they are indescribably close.

“Please, please…” begs Yuzuru in a barely coherent, hot whisper that makes Javier’s skin tingle.

Javier takes his already leaking cock into a firm grasp, spreading moisture with his thumb around the oversensitive head. His is jerking Yuzuru off fast and hard, tortured groans and high whines spilling from the boy’s lips, as he is getting high on pleasure.

Yuzuru moans into Javier’s opened mouth, his whole body shuddering before he goes rigid, white spurts shooting over his stomach and into the man’s skillful fingers. Javier licks the boy’s essence off his palm, his salty peculiar taste bringing him over the edge, as he is climaxing powerfully, stroking his hard length for a good measure, riding waves of his orgasm, as he comes all over Yuzuru’s taut abdomen.

Javier is floating in the nonexistence for several long minutes of pure, undiluted bliss. Yuzuru is everywhere: on his tongue and fingers and inside his heaving chest.

Javier kisses Yuzuru in the sweaty forehead, tangling his fingers into the boy’s disheveled hair. He looks into his half-lidded eyes searchingly. Fireworks explode inside Javier’s belly when a shy, tired smile appears on Yuzuru’s kiss-swollen lush lips.

“Well, it looks like we are criminals now…” There’s no trace of regret in Yuzuru’s tone though.

Javier kisses the tip of Yuzuru’s nose playfully, amused by the boy’s weak attempts to get out from under him, his small fists pushing at his muscular chest.

“I didn’t think it would end _this fast_ …Dammit…You are making me lose my mind! Do you hear?!”

All of a sudden, Javier becomes slightly embarrassed. He has butterflies in the tummy, frightened by a storm of conflicting emotions raging inside – on one hand, he is keenly aware that he has just cheated on Melissa but on the other hand, he feels ready to take the whole wide world into his arms, decidedly unable to trade these stolen moments of forbidden happiness for anything under the sun.

Yuzuru broke into his life like a blazing vortex, turning it upside down, illuminating his dull existence with his stellar presence. Javier wants the time they share to last.

“Stay with me for a bit longer, please,” says Javier, kissing knuckles and fingertips of Yuzuru’s deity hands almost reverently. He inhales his scent; he tries to imprint it in his memory to cherish later when the time for their inevitable parting comes.

These couple of hours is everything they have. He won’t insist and pressure Yuzuru to stay. Too many obstacles, too many complications are waiting for them outside the walls of this hotel room.

Their lives run in parallel like two lines that intersected once to not touch ever again.

Yet now, Yuzuru is lying with his head on Javier’s chest, his fingertips drawing invisible patterns on his naked skin. There’s a feeling of fragile peacefulness stretching in between them and Javier kisses the crown of Yuzuru’s head, before letting his hand move to the boy’s nape and then towards his protruding shoulder blades.

“We won’t see each other after I leave this room,” says Yuzuru and they both know that it is a fact.

“ _Yuzu_ ,” Javier has no idea why he calls Yuzuru this way, full to the brim with aching tenderness. “I wish everything wouldn’t be like this…so complicated.”

Javier could have said _I love you_ and _never forget_ and he senses that it wouldn’t be far from the truth but it seems as though his throat is squeezed by an invisible hand. He takes Yuzuru by the chin, making him look straight into his eye.

“Thank you,” he says simply instead and then they are kissing again: tongues sliding unhurriedly, exploring each other anew – languid, deep and profoundly thrilling.

They are totally lost in each other until a loud noise yanks them back into reality.

_It’s Yuzuru’s mother calling._

Yuzuru is telling to his worried mom that he’ll be back soon, that he simply decided to have a walk along the sea front.

He lies.

“No, no! I am not cold! Please, don’t worry, okaa-san! Just one more hour! Everything is fine…Yes!”

Javier snakes his arms around Yuzuru’s waist, biting into the back of his neck gently. One more hour sounds like a sentence and it feels as though some important part of his soul is freezing inside. Agitated voice of Yuzuru’s mother reaches Javier’s ears from a mobile phone speaker and it contains so much motherly love and admiration that he gets swept with a powerful feeling of guilt.

Perhaps he had no right to behave this way with Yuzuru – to take what he desired without thinking of consequences, simply being carried away. He bravely accepted all of the responsibility for everything that has happened between them.

Yuzuru ends the conversation and there’s nowhere to run from the momentary awkward silence. The boy clears his throat.

“I have to go soon…Mom is already waiting and…” he sounds childlike and achingly vulnerable.

Javier presses a finger to Yuzuru’s lips. They have one last hour and he is not going to waste it on talking. It’s better to save words for later and just enjoy each fleeting minute to the fullest, as if it were their last.

He caresses Yuzuru’s thin back with feathery touches, his voice laced with utmost tenderness.

“You’ve given me more than you can possibly imagine, Yuzu. I’ll never be able to give you as much. I feel forever indebted. All I need is you being with me right now…Please.”

Yuzuru crushes his mouth against Javier’s lips with youthful vigor. His kisses are clumsy and inexperienced but he compensates with his eagerness. Javier turns him to lay on his stomach, showering his back with open-mouth kisses, his tongue tracing each of the protruding vertebras, eventually moving lower.

Yuzuru is gasping into a pillow desperately, his breathing quick and shallow, strangled sobs and small whines pouring out of him incessantly, as Javier is eating him out for the very first time in his life. He is drunk on the realization that nobody has ever touched Yuzuru this intimately; nobody was allowed to taste him like this, to take him apart ruthlessly in a paroxysm of sheer lust.

The boy is shivering, his toes curling, as Javier is fucking him with his tongue and two fingers, tight heat quivering around deliciously. Yuzuru cries out brokenly, wrecked by a wave of acute pleasure – pain mixing itself with arousal exquisitely, making him bite into the pillow as he is trying to suppress his moans, delirious with delight.

“Does it feel good? Do you like what I am doing to you, my sweet boy? Tell me!”

“Yes…yes… Ah…”

Javier is aching to be inside of Yuzuru; to thrust roughly into his heavenly virgin tightness but he doesn’t dare to take the final step. Instead, he concentrates on caressing the young and responsive body, finding his own satisfaction in Yuzuru’s newly awakened sensuality. As the boy orgasms for the second time, keening uncontrollably, Javier covers him with his whole body, back to chest. He thrusts between Yuzuru’s pale sweaty thighs before coming hard, finally finding his absolution.

Afterwards, they are lying tangled in messy bedsheets, boneless and heaving, as if two miraculous survivors of a shipwreck.

Yuzuru’s eyes are glistening with tears and his cheeks are wet.

“O dios mio! Did I hurt you?!” Javier brushes teardrops away with his fingertips, paralyzed by fear that he has done something wrong.

Yuzuru shakes his head, clutching at his shoulders.

“I won’t forget you, Javi,” he says in all earnestness.

_Javi._

Javier’s heart skips a beat and for the first time in a very long time he smiles happily.

**

Melissa is staring at him disbelievingly, holding a heavy manuscript in her hand.

“I consider it the absolute best of all of your works, Javi! It’s amazing! You are incredible, darling!”

Javier bites his lower lip wistfully.

A single word is written on a title page in his sprawling handwriting.

_Ablaze._

**


End file.
